I think this trailer answers it all. First, it's like being skull-fucked with the Stupid Stick. But it also does a fine job of raping another culture!
I saw this trailer before Wall*E today (which was brilliant, by the way) and my first reaction, after I picked my jaw off of the floor was "I want to put a gun in the mouth of every person in America now."
Get ready for some deep hurting:
Now I understand why my girlfriend refuses to go to Disney World with me.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
What you read vs. what you see.
So, the other day I was trolling around IMDB curious to what Thomas Jane is up to. I kinda have had a man-crush on Mr. Jane ever since I saw him in Stander:
It's actually a pretty powerful movie. Anyway, I was looking at his upcoming projects and one of them is The Mutant Chronicles. That's a silly title, I grant you. But sillier still was the synopsis (BE WARNED, HERE BE SPOILERS!):
"Earth's natural resources have been exhausted by mankind and battle rages between the soldiers of four leading Corporations: the Capitol, Bauhaus, Mishima and Imperial.
Mitch Hunter and Nathan Rooker, battle hardened Capitol soldiers, fight a desperate battle against a Bauhaus advance. When an errant shell destroys an ancient stone seal, they find themselves facing a new enemy: hideous necromutants, with boneblades that grow from their arms. Mitch barely manages to escape. Nathan does not.
The mutants multiply by millions and they destroy all before them. The Corporations' leader, Constantine, is about to abandon the planet and leave countless innocents to their desperate fate, when he is approached by Brother Samuel, leader of the Brotherhood, and ancient monastic order
Samuel is keeper of the Chronicles, a book that prophesies both the rise of the Mutants and the 'Deliverer' that will destroy them. Samuel believes he is that Deliverer destined to journey deep into the earth and destroy the source of the mutant scourge.
He manages to recruit Mitch, along with a handful of like-minded soldiers: Steiner, honor bound Bauhaus officer; sword wielding Severian; street fighter El Jesus; fearless beauty Duval; and stoic warrior Juba.
"Mutant Chronicle" follows Mitch and Samuel's mission to venture into the very heart of the darkness in an attempt to save the planet from marauding hordes of deathless mutants."
Sounds like a bad straight to video, no? Then I saw the trailer this morning:
Okay, now that looks cool! Which is my point. Film is a visual medium. duh. I can describe a movie to you in all of the words that I have, but if the concept is out there, it would be hard for me to convince you that maybe you should see it. Only when you see a crazy concept like that with your own eyes do you begin to understand what I'm trying to describe to you. This is what a good trailer i supposed to do: entice you. And in that regard, this is a very good trailer indeed. So yeah, I like what I see so far of this movie. It has a distinctive style in the war scenes that remind me of World War I, and if boingboing has taught us anything it's this: the future is a lot cooler if it looks like it came from the past. Plus, it's got Ron Perlman! Hellboy and The Punisher vs. countless mutant hordes? Oh, yeah!
It's actually a pretty powerful movie. Anyway, I was looking at his upcoming projects and one of them is The Mutant Chronicles. That's a silly title, I grant you. But sillier still was the synopsis (BE WARNED, HERE BE SPOILERS!):
"Earth's natural resources have been exhausted by mankind and battle rages between the soldiers of four leading Corporations: the Capitol, Bauhaus, Mishima and Imperial.
Mitch Hunter and Nathan Rooker, battle hardened Capitol soldiers, fight a desperate battle against a Bauhaus advance. When an errant shell destroys an ancient stone seal, they find themselves facing a new enemy: hideous necromutants, with boneblades that grow from their arms. Mitch barely manages to escape. Nathan does not.
The mutants multiply by millions and they destroy all before them. The Corporations' leader, Constantine, is about to abandon the planet and leave countless innocents to their desperate fate, when he is approached by Brother Samuel, leader of the Brotherhood, and ancient monastic order
Samuel is keeper of the Chronicles, a book that prophesies both the rise of the Mutants and the 'Deliverer' that will destroy them. Samuel believes he is that Deliverer destined to journey deep into the earth and destroy the source of the mutant scourge.
He manages to recruit Mitch, along with a handful of like-minded soldiers: Steiner, honor bound Bauhaus officer; sword wielding Severian; street fighter El Jesus; fearless beauty Duval; and stoic warrior Juba.
"Mutant Chronicle" follows Mitch and Samuel's mission to venture into the very heart of the darkness in an attempt to save the planet from marauding hordes of deathless mutants."
Sounds like a bad straight to video, no? Then I saw the trailer this morning:
Okay, now that looks cool! Which is my point. Film is a visual medium. duh. I can describe a movie to you in all of the words that I have, but if the concept is out there, it would be hard for me to convince you that maybe you should see it. Only when you see a crazy concept like that with your own eyes do you begin to understand what I'm trying to describe to you. This is what a good trailer i supposed to do: entice you. And in that regard, this is a very good trailer indeed. So yeah, I like what I see so far of this movie. It has a distinctive style in the war scenes that remind me of World War I, and if boingboing has taught us anything it's this: the future is a lot cooler if it looks like it came from the past. Plus, it's got Ron Perlman! Hellboy and The Punisher vs. countless mutant hordes? Oh, yeah!
Random theories about movie trailers...
It's funny. Movie trailers do so many things. First, obviously, they are an advertisement for an upcoming film. They are designed to attract. But they also warn you away from awful movie like this one does:
Okay, so there's no argument that The Love Guru looks really bad. Maybe if this came out 10 or 12 years ago, it would have done better, but comedy has moved on and someone forgot to cc Mike Myers on that. Has-been comedians aside, here's a scientific fact: If you go to see a movie and the majority of the trailers before the feature presentation look this bad or worse, that guarantees that the feature itself will, in all likelihood, suck. The first time I noticed this was 7 years ago when I was dragged to see The Score with Ed Norton and DeNiro. Every trailer looked worse than the last, and then, (surprise, surprise) The Score was awful as well. Not "Clifford" bad, but tepid and predictable and it was very obvious that the cast was just doing it for the paycheck, which is always sad to watch. And then I started noticing that every time I saw a bad movie, at least 3/4 (but usually all) of the trailers before the feature were for movies that looked to be complete garbage.
So that's my movie trailer theory of the day.
To cleanse your palette, here's a trailer that's 30 years old, and still gives me geeky goosebumps, plus I really dig the Christ analogy:
Okay, so there's no argument that The Love Guru looks really bad. Maybe if this came out 10 or 12 years ago, it would have done better, but comedy has moved on and someone forgot to cc Mike Myers on that. Has-been comedians aside, here's a scientific fact: If you go to see a movie and the majority of the trailers before the feature presentation look this bad or worse, that guarantees that the feature itself will, in all likelihood, suck. The first time I noticed this was 7 years ago when I was dragged to see The Score with Ed Norton and DeNiro. Every trailer looked worse than the last, and then, (surprise, surprise) The Score was awful as well. Not "Clifford" bad, but tepid and predictable and it was very obvious that the cast was just doing it for the paycheck, which is always sad to watch. And then I started noticing that every time I saw a bad movie, at least 3/4 (but usually all) of the trailers before the feature were for movies that looked to be complete garbage.
So that's my movie trailer theory of the day.
To cleanse your palette, here's a trailer that's 30 years old, and still gives me geeky goosebumps, plus I really dig the Christ analogy:
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Waterfally!
I've been gushing (fner) over the Brooklyn Bridge Waterfalls ever since they were announced, and now that the installation is complete they're even cooler than I'd imagined! This video does a nice job of capturing their dreamy matter-of-factness, as if they utterly belong in that landscape.
The New York City Waterfalls
Olafur Eliasson
New York, NY 2008
1:21
Here's an amusing article from the New York Times about New York City's other waterfalls, including the "explicit" cascade at Trump Tower and a brief shower from a high-powered facade washer in the Bronx. My second favorite waterfall in Manhattan was similarly ephemeral: while wading through Union Square Station one summer during a thunderstorm, I had to leap over a torrent of water flowing from beneath a locked maintenance door. The Brooklyn Bridge installation captures something of that incongruous NYC magic.
Other of his pieces are similarly impressive. Here we visit the Tate Modern during his "Weather Project" installation, a Ballardish (Ballardian?) nightmare of heat and light.
The Weather Project
Olafur Eliasson
Tate Modern, London, 2006
:45
And this elegant, astronomy-flavored light sculpture reminds me a bit of the Roden Crater.
Round Rainbow
Olafur Eliasson
Hirschorn Museum, Washington DC, 2007
1:08
If other artists would start plagiarizing this sort of simple, resonant installation, instead of trying to be John Curren or Elizabeth Peyton, the art world would be a much more interesting place. In that spirit, enjoy a slide show of land art grandaddy Robert Smithson's Hobbit-sized, waterborne Central Park being tugged around the island of Manhattan. Perhaps inevitably, it's pursued by a tiny rendition of Christo's Gates.
Floating Island
Robert Smithson
2006
[chased by] Gates
The Bruce High Quality Foundation
2006
2:01
The New York City Waterfalls
Olafur Eliasson
New York, NY 2008
1:21
Here's an amusing article from the New York Times about New York City's other waterfalls, including the "explicit" cascade at Trump Tower and a brief shower from a high-powered facade washer in the Bronx. My second favorite waterfall in Manhattan was similarly ephemeral: while wading through Union Square Station one summer during a thunderstorm, I had to leap over a torrent of water flowing from beneath a locked maintenance door. The Brooklyn Bridge installation captures something of that incongruous NYC magic.
Other of his pieces are similarly impressive. Here we visit the Tate Modern during his "Weather Project" installation, a Ballardish (Ballardian?) nightmare of heat and light.
The Weather Project
Olafur Eliasson
Tate Modern, London, 2006
:45
And this elegant, astronomy-flavored light sculpture reminds me a bit of the Roden Crater.
Round Rainbow
Olafur Eliasson
Hirschorn Museum, Washington DC, 2007
1:08
If other artists would start plagiarizing this sort of simple, resonant installation, instead of trying to be John Curren or Elizabeth Peyton, the art world would be a much more interesting place. In that spirit, enjoy a slide show of land art grandaddy Robert Smithson's Hobbit-sized, waterborne Central Park being tugged around the island of Manhattan. Perhaps inevitably, it's pursued by a tiny rendition of Christo's Gates.
Floating Island
Robert Smithson
2006
[chased by] Gates
The Bruce High Quality Foundation
2006
2:01
Sunday, June 22, 2008
The Beetles
If you tire of Muppets, you tire of life. The Beatles, on the other hand, can become very tedious, particularly once you've dated a John Lennon impersonator. How delightful, then, to find these overly familiar songs lightened by the Henson touch.
Here, the most dire song on Sgt. Pepper is turned into a bizarre Temple of Doomish scenario featuring Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. The design is a faint foreshadowing of 1982's Dark Crystal.
With a Little Help From My Friends
Muppet Show episode 419
1980
2:58
Floyd performs a short but surprisingly faithful version of the melancholy George Harrison single.
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Muppet Show episode 419
1980
1:23
In this clip from Vincent Price's episode, two spirits serenade an elusive lady ghost in a brusque British timbre that so works.
I'm Looking Through You
Muppet Show episode 119
1976
2:23
The lyrics don't leave much room for surprises, so it's the little things that make this video worthwhile: Kermit's bathing cap is fetching, the flatfish chasing Animal is wonderfully designed, and Robin the Frog's voice should instantly render you 8 years old again.
Octopus's Garden
Muppet Show episode 313
1978
2:43
I don't think this song has a lot of fans, but it's vastly improved by Gonzo's treatment, and the mirror gag is done with great panache.
Act Naturally
Muppet Show episode 405 (UK version)
1979
2:00
Here, the most dire song on Sgt. Pepper is turned into a bizarre Temple of Doomish scenario featuring Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. The design is a faint foreshadowing of 1982's Dark Crystal.
With a Little Help From My Friends
Muppet Show episode 419
1980
2:58
Floyd performs a short but surprisingly faithful version of the melancholy George Harrison single.
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Muppet Show episode 419
1980
1:23
In this clip from Vincent Price's episode, two spirits serenade an elusive lady ghost in a brusque British timbre that so works.
I'm Looking Through You
Muppet Show episode 119
1976
2:23
The lyrics don't leave much room for surprises, so it's the little things that make this video worthwhile: Kermit's bathing cap is fetching, the flatfish chasing Animal is wonderfully designed, and Robin the Frog's voice should instantly render you 8 years old again.
Octopus's Garden
Muppet Show episode 313
1978
2:43
I don't think this song has a lot of fans, but it's vastly improved by Gonzo's treatment, and the mirror gag is done with great panache.
Act Naturally
Muppet Show episode 405 (UK version)
1979
2:00
hello from far away
This one goes out to my boy back home, who I'm missing enormously today.
Let's Get Together (In Our Minds)
Gorky's Zygotic Mynci
3:20
Let's Get Together (In Our Minds)
Gorky's Zygotic Mynci
3:20
John Carradine sings! Bluebeard slays! Lush ages poorly!
Before he was eclipsed by his kungfuing spawn, John Carradine was a triple threat: acting, singing, and looking craggy. His career encompassed enviable highs (the Oscar-winning Grapes of Wrath) and risible lows. Naturally, it's the latter that interest us here. Arguably the worst movie ever done by MST3K, Night Train to Mundo Fine, aka Red Zone Cuba, lurches around for 89 agonizing, incomprehensible, Cherokee Jack-filled minutes before wandering off into oblivion. John Carradine, older than dirt, offers a prologue to the movie and belts out the memorable theme song (the fun starts at 6:50):
watch this clip on YouTube
Red Zone Cuba, MST3K episode 619 (part 2/9)
1966/1994
10:05
Carradine also plays the tormented, almost sorta sexy protagonist of Bluebeard. In a well-nigh Shakespearean embed, we are treated early in the film to a marionette version of the opera Faust, in which he sings the part of Mephisto. This film also has the distinction of featuring the least-French French characters I've ever seen. (The puppeteering is about 5 minutes in, but it's well worth a full screening.)
Bluebeard
1944
70 mins
Speaking of Bluebeard, here's a frothy silent version from the ever-delightful Melies studio.
Le Barbe-Bleu (Bluebeard)
Georges Melies
1901
9:08
In a slightly more modern take on the Bluebeard legend, Charlie Chaplin played the titular Monsieur Verdoux, in the role that contributed to his ostracism in the US. Based on an idea from (ie scrawled on a bar napkin by) Orson Welles, its thesis is that the cruelty of capitalism both leads to and absolves murder. It's not hard to understand why American audiences didn't take a shine to this effete, self-righteous lady killer, but it's a fascinating film. Also, after "Bluebeard," this film has the second-least-French French characters ever.
Monsieur Verdoux
Charlie Chaplin
1947
123 mins
and to complete the theme, here's Lush's best single, "Ladykillers," and its alarmingly dated video:
Ladykillers
Lush
1996
3:20
watch this clip on YouTube
Red Zone Cuba, MST3K episode 619 (part 2/9)
1966/1994
10:05
Carradine also plays the tormented, almost sorta sexy protagonist of Bluebeard. In a well-nigh Shakespearean embed, we are treated early in the film to a marionette version of the opera Faust, in which he sings the part of Mephisto. This film also has the distinction of featuring the least-French French characters I've ever seen. (The puppeteering is about 5 minutes in, but it's well worth a full screening.)
Bluebeard
1944
70 mins
Speaking of Bluebeard, here's a frothy silent version from the ever-delightful Melies studio.
Le Barbe-Bleu (Bluebeard)
Georges Melies
1901
9:08
In a slightly more modern take on the Bluebeard legend, Charlie Chaplin played the titular Monsieur Verdoux, in the role that contributed to his ostracism in the US. Based on an idea from (ie scrawled on a bar napkin by) Orson Welles, its thesis is that the cruelty of capitalism both leads to and absolves murder. It's not hard to understand why American audiences didn't take a shine to this effete, self-righteous lady killer, but it's a fascinating film. Also, after "Bluebeard," this film has the second-least-French French characters ever.
Monsieur Verdoux
Charlie Chaplin
1947
123 mins
and to complete the theme, here's Lush's best single, "Ladykillers," and its alarmingly dated video:
Ladykillers
Lush
1996
3:20
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